Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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