Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
