i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
