I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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