just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
