every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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