i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
