You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
