when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
