dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
this is an emotional support booty call
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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