He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
