recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
