My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize