fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
foreskin is a definite game changer
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
