His pubic hair was longer than his dick
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
