We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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