man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
COCAINE IS GR8
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
