she woke up with a sticky ear
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
