she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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