the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
