just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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