I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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