Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
