i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
