I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
