she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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