how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
