we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize