i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
