By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
