I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
