I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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