Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
