Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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