I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
