You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize