Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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