come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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