isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
