I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
