Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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