Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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