Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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