being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize