yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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