i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
