My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
