Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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