we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
