I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
