Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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