I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
