I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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