yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
