i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
