Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
