I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The Olympian is in my bed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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