This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
