i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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