Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
