so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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