If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
