i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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