windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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